How to Reclaim Power from Your Shadow Self

I often make mention of the shadow self here on my blog, and it’s the basis of a full module of training in my Pro Crystal Healer program, due to the immensely painful effect it has on our lives.

That being said, the shadow can be misunderstood or misrepresented as our inner villain, but it’s more closely defined as our wounded self, or wounded warrior.

It is a keeper of all the darker aspects and archetypes of our humanity.

It’s also a big part of what makes us human.

You could think of your shadow as your lower frequency or “lower vibe” self.

It’s the pain, the doubts, the sorrows, the fears, the regrets, the shames, the violence, the hatred, the envy, and the resentments we carry with us through life, and it’s largely formed in our childhood (though we continue to add to it as adults).

Some people in the spiritual community try to inauthentically bypass their shadow selves, through forced positivity, spiritual superiority, or an imposed “love and light” sentimentality.

But the honest truth is that most human beings seek to bypass the shadow. That’s actually a part of the shadow self’s defense system – it wants to be in control, but it does not want to be exposed.

How Our Shadow Controls Us

Our shadow selves are exceptionally powerful because, from its place of darkness buried deep within us, it can silently run the show.

Like a puppeteer it works on us through our subconscious, psyche, systems of belief (including limiting beliefs), our choices, actions, and emotional reactions.

If it becomes exposed, it can lose this power, and it can’t risk losing its power because of this honest truth: it is trying to keep us safe.

Let me repeat that: it is trying to keep us safe.

Its sole (soul) purpose is to protect us from what harmed or traumatized us as children. This is why I don’t consider it bad - if anything I have great compassion for the shadow self.

Those harmful or traumatic events imprint on our psyches, and as children we believe that somehow we were at fault. In order to not experience that pain or trauma again, we form a belief that will protect us from it.

For example (trigger warning):

A child speaks out. The child is punished by their parent for speaking out. The child is wounded or traumatized by the event and believes that by speaking out they were the cause of that trauma.

So, the child decides to stay quiet, or even hidden within themselves, believing that in so doing they will be safe from that harm going forward.

Cut to years later, and this (now adult) child still harbors this belief. They get passed over for promotions because they don’t share their ideas, they have trouble maintaining relationships because they avoid intimacy.

But when they are encouraged to speak up and be heard or recognized, they shrink back in fear.

Nothing changes, nothing gets better, and while on the surface the child feels frustrated and unfulfilled in their lives, deep down inside the reward is feeling safe.

The shadow’s main operating system is BELIEF. It creates beliefs, known as “shadow beliefs”, and buries them deep in our psyche.

These beliefs become a part of our main operating system, so when anything perceived as potentially harmful arises (perceived being an operative word), a whole network of defenses can spring into action:

Denial
Resistance
Self-sabotage
Fight or flight
Rage
Vagueness
Indecision
Procrastination
Prejudice
Shame
Blocks or Obstacles
Anxiety
Fear

These are all just a few of the shadow’s dark angels.

(Note: for illustrative purposes I am discussing the shadow as though it is a separate part of us, but it is just as much a part of you as your arm, leg, or soul).

The Effect of the Shadow On Our Lives

The problem is obvious: while our shadow’s purpose is to help protect us from harm, its limiting + negative belief system ends up perpetuating harm throughout our lifetime.

Being born of pain, fear, and shame, it can only create more of the same. It’s flawed, but it doesn’t know it.

It keeps us tethered to our wounds, our limiting self-beliefs, our fears, judgements, and shames, the effects of which show up again and again in our relationships, careers, livelihoods, health, and all of the choices we make big and small.

Here’s what gets buried with these wounds, etc., in our shadows:

Our personal power
Potential
Truth
Health
Joy
Prosperity
Creativity
Opportunity
Love
Confidence

And so much more.

The problem is that most of us don’t realize we’re trapped in these unconscious patterns of choice and behaviors, because as I mentioned before, our shadows do not like to be seen.

It will throw up defenses of the dark angel category from above to keep itself being discovered so that it can continue to run the show unchallenged.

How to Reclaim Your Power from Your Shadow Self

So while the shadow is very easy to program, it’s not so easy to de-program.

That doesn’t mean it’s not possible, though, quite the opposite: it’s completely doable, it just requires conscious effort and shitload of truth.

Here’s some crystal healing techniques that can help you to start reintegrating your shadow and undoing limiting beliefs:

Awareness

First, you must make a conscious choice to become aware of any limiting or shadow beliefs that have been holding you back in your life. As soon as you become consciously aware, you are empowered to make different choices.

Crystals that can support you in this working:

Tip: try holding one or more while meditating, journaling, or in a session with a professional.

Acceptance + Surrender

Acceptance and surrender helps you to pass through many of your shadow’s defenses. Through acceptance and surrender to the truth of what IS, we are no longer in forms of resistance or denial, and we can consciously work on making changes.

Tip: Wearing these crystals daily, or even sleeping with them at night, can allow them to work on your subconscious and shift into a state of acceptance.

Healing The Wound

This can take time, depending on the wound or trauma. Grief, a sense of loss, or even anger can also come up in this stage. By healing the wound we dissolve the need for the belief – this is where our buried power begins to re-surface.

This is also where crystals can enact deep, healing forces in our subconscious.

Tip: These crystals work deeply + most powerfully in a therapeutic session. To do this for yourself, lie down comfortably and place one or more on your heart + sacral chakras. As these are powerful crystals that can bring up deep feelings, it may be best to do this in the presence of a healer or therapist.

Forming New, Empowering Beliefs

For many people working with positive affirmations is helpful in forming new, empowering beliefs. I’ve found for myself, personally, that they need to resonate deeply as truth in order for this to take hold.

We can work with stones to provide what I call a healing response – infusing us with the energy we need to feel, know, and embody a new level of empowering truth and belief in our subconscious.

Tip: Hold one or more of these crystals in your receptive hand, and repeat your affirmation or empowering truth silently or out loud for several minutes. Really feel into what you are repeating. Then wear your crystal throughout the day for reinforcement energy.